This morning I found myself sitting in front of a PC at Chemeketa trying to fill out the form preceding a COMPASS test. It shouldn’t (key word: shouldn’t) have been too hard, since they were basically just asking me to tell them all the info they had already requested on my admissions application.

Mistake Number 1: Rhetorical Questions Suck

The first mistake was made right off the bat–they already require an enrolment application with all this same information, why do they need it twice? They don’t.

This whole post would not exist had they just been satisfied with one copy of just about everything there is to know about me, but apparently that’s not good enough. And they already have my social security number, so shouldn’t they know all of this anyway?

But since when did things have to make sense.

Mistake Number 2: What’s My First Language Which Is English That Isn’t English?

If you’re wondering what the heck the above subheading is about, then I’ve already made my point. Because that is exactly what I was asked towards the beginning of this whole thing. On page 1 or 2 of this 9 page ordeal, I was asked if English is my first language. I selected yes, filled out the rest of the page, then moved onto the next section only to find a huge dropdown menu in which I was to select my first language.

What?

Like…didn’t I just say it was English?

Thinking that I perhaps selected the wrong choice on the previous page, I go back to check. Nope, I said English was my first language. Whatever.

So, I begin to tackle this massive list, only to realize that English isn’t an option. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me…But does that make sense to anybody here? If you don’t believe me, I have the results sitting next to me and will scan and upload them to Flickr if I have to prove myself.

Mistake Number 3: Only Build Descriptive Error Reporting If You Know How To Figure Out What the Error Is

Somewhere along the line I’m asked for a phone number. Never mind the fact that they will receive it with all the applications they want, but I fill it out in a typical xxx xxx-xxx fashion anyway. The rest of the page is filled out, so I attempt to continue.

But nothing happens.

I click a few more times before finally seeing an error message saying that only numbers, parentheses, and dashes are allowed in my phone number. Thinking that perhaps the area code requires parentheses, I add them and attempt to continue–but to no avail.

So, I take out the space between the area code and other numbers. Still no good.

I take out everything except the numbers leaving a mess that looked something like “xxxxxxxxxx” and it still won’t let me through. Now after trying all sorts of bizarre combinations, I just delete the area code completely and… it works.

So apparently, spaces and dashes have nothing to do with the fact that you won’t accept my phone number, and it has everything to do with the fact that you don’t want an area code?

I’d really like to see the test scores of whoever designed this. swan