Friday (08/10/07)
Job Training for the Web 2.0 Era: Design Like a Pro in 10 Minutes 2:28 pm
Some of you may remember a post of mine from over a year ago in which I heavily suggested that the true money will lie with the Greek majors. However, I realize that not everybody is into that sort of thing, and some of you might still be completely intent upon sticking with a design career.
While you won’t be as rich or successful, if you’d rather make pretty pictures for a living that’s fine. Don’t bother with art school, they’ll just waste your time and spend your money on crack (how else would you could come up with this kind of stuff?).
Instead, below I’ll be doing a comprehensive study on Web 2.0 Design that will let you design like a pro in no time.
Rule number one: Make everything round.
And I mean everything. Round fonts, round corners, and round circle-ish non-circles. Just make sure that as soon as you make one thing round, that everything else around it is round too. Otherwise you look like an idiot.
Rule number two: Forget the .coms
Use a cool domain extension like .us in order to make up professional-sounding names like Del.icio.us. If you can’t get one of those, misspellings work, too, such as Digg and Flickr. Random periods are also acceptable–just make sure these periods do not take place in between syllables, because that would make too much sense.
Rule number three: Ooh, shiny!
Shiny things have always been worth more than non-shiny things, and the web’s no different. Make sure to utilize mass uses of gradients, reflections, and bubbles. Clients love that kind of crap.
Rule number four: I know something you don’t know…
Secrets are the lifeblood of any healthy relationship, so why not keep your new Web 2.0 app hidden from all but those specifically invited by others who were specifically invited by others who were specifically invited? Totally ups your cool by at least 25 points ems.
Rule number five: Too advanced for you?
In order to show your support for the new web, make sure to ignore 800×600 users while simultaneously offering iPhone-only versions of your site. This shows the world that you know the future and aren’t scared to set up shop there before anybody else has arrived.
That’s really all there is to it.
And with that, you are now officially a pro Web 2.0 Designer. To shamelessly flaunt your new-found Web 2.0 professionalism, make sure to download the official “Web 2.0 Designer Pro Pers.on” round circle-ish non-circle thing:
I eat food. I listen to music. I sleep. Sometimes. I drink lots of coffee. I make pretty pictures. I talk to people. I believe in things. I write stuff. I take photographs. I have a laughing addiction. I am human. 
anu
Funny stuff. I was thinking though that you could probably add a 6th rule just for the design concept of misspelling. =) If it is spelled incorrectly then by gosh that is some cool ass design work. “Aren’t we just the kitschiest people on the planet, nobody would have come to our website if we spelled it correctly, but because we have we are cool, hip and orgnl.” It’s just another example of societies movement towards the quick and easy way of life. Spelling? Whose got time for that?
Sorry for the rant. =)
Defniitely.
You are right on the money mate. Go write a book I’d say. Will sell like hot cakes. And.. should you need a co-author.. nah, forget it, I don’t even have a website… now that’s web4.0beta!
You forgot to add reflection on the round circle-ish non-circle logo, shame on you!
@my_screen_name: We could have a whole section on “The Invisible Web.”
@macournoyer: Ah darn, so I did…
HA! Love it Elliot! Oh of very very true.
love your post and blog in general, awesome stuff
Thanks guys.
Real funny stuff Elliot. Great post.